Knight of Cups- What a Daddycakes!

Knight of Cups

What a Daddycakes! The Knight of Cups rides in with the biggest kindest most open heart! When the fiery power of the masculine meets the watery realm of emotions, we have a powerful character who is able to synthesize the opposites and harness both of their powers.

The most powerful warriors are the ones who can be unguarded, and this is one Knight who is able to show his true self without fear. He is emotionally giving, honest, passionate and trustworthy. And he loves chick flicks.

His white horse symbolizes his spiritual power, and this is where his strength comes from. He trusts in spirit, and in himself and therefore has no fear of his own vulnerability. He is willing to show all his feelings, because he is willing to witness all of the feelings of the people he comes into contact with. This Daddycakes can feel his children’s pain, acknowledge their emotions and hold a space for them to feel all their struggles.  He has loving boundaries and protects himself from disrespect. His emotional openness is coupled with deep self esteem and self regard.

So what is the most important relationship that we can nurture? We all focus on our lovers, our partners, our children or parents, and we imagine that if we can have harmony in those relationships, that we will be happy and fulfilled. But personally, I have found that exhausting. We can try to keep all those balls in the air but inevitably there is conflict and struggle and pain, and no end to the challenges we face in some of our most intimate relationships. So of course, the most obvious answer is that the most important person in the whole wide world is you. Well, actually, it’s me. Well, for me, it’s going to be me. For you, that’s got to be you. Look in the mirror and there she is.

This self love thing has been confusing. How do we love ourselves more? If we were more attractive? Or successful in our work? Or more loved in our community? What if we could finally get that approval from our parents? It seems like this would work. So should I go waste another 44 years of my life continuing to try to get self love by focusing my efforts outwardly? I can’t, I’m exhausted.

I have recently discovered a new process in which to enhance my self love and deepen positive self regard. It involves creating a dialogue between my inner child (the one who cries for the love) and my inner adult (the one who ignores, berates or can’t face my inner child). I realize that this is the foundation. I have a mother and a child aspect of my being that is engaging in a classic dysfunctional relationship. In essence, my inner mother/adult claims she is “too busy” to deal with the child, whose seemingly constant needs are actually an annoying distraction. Taking the time to dialogue these two parts and heal this inner relationship does take time, and it is challenging, but all self development is. It’s time for the inner adult to give the care and love and compassion to the inner child, just as she would care for her own children and people she loves.

The Knight of Cups is all about this relationship. What is your relationship to yourself? Are you loyal and committed to feeling all your feelings and allowing them to be part of your decision making process? What if your feelings or child self  are telling you one thing (e.g.:I need to leave this painful relationship) and your mind or your adult self is saying something else?(Like no, way, that would be too hard, it would hurt other people, etc) Working things out by dialoguing within ourselves can bring us wholeness, understanding and self-compassion. Loving the self means loving all the parts of the self; even the ugly, weak, sad, incapable parts. With compassion.

Mantra for today: My feelings matter more to me than your feelings. I don’t want to hurt anyone intentionally, but I commit to be loyal to my own feelings and listen to their truth. I view my flaws and mistakes with compassion and love.

Please enjoy this cartoon from the 1970’s. The beginning theme song is so catchy and memorable and deeply true.

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